PROTEST AGAINST INTERGALACTIC PROPERTY SPECULATION!
Following the announcement by former Canadian defence minister Paul Hellyer that 'UFOs are real, aliens have visited Earth and the U.S. government is covering up information about them', we've learned that astrophysicist Greg Laughlin has recently valued Planet Earth at £3,000 trillion. Our team of resident conspiracy theorists have advised us that this is evidence of a plot by the World Bank to raise revenue by selling the planet and that we should immediately claim
squatters' rights. We're putting a call out for help to prepare a 29,000ft Section 6 to affix to Mount Everest. Meanwhile, back at Area 51 …..
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